


Begin Again

by lullabelle_moon



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Soppy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 11:50:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6078285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lullabelle_moon/pseuds/lullabelle_moon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After everything that's happened; Aaron and Robert are back together. This is their first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Begin Again

He felt nervous; and he felt ridiculous for feeling nervous. He wasn't a blushing virgin, it wasn't even the first time with Robert yet here he was hiding in the bathroom; gripping the sink so tightly he was certain he was going to shatter it. The knock on the door made him jump. He cleared his throat,  
"Yeah?"  
Robert's voice was gentle as it came through the wood,  
"You alright?"  
Aaron took a breath and looked at himself in the mirror before opening the door to find Robert leaning against the wall and staring down at his hands,  
"Rob?"  
Robert looked at him and smiled gently,  
"You okay?"  
Aaron nodded,  
"Yeah. Fine."  
Robert frowned,  
"You're not though are you? Did I...did I do something?"  
Aaron's heart sank and he stepped closer,  
"No...No you've been...you've been amazing. I just-"  
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose,  
"I don't know. I don't know...I'm sorry."  
Robert reached out and touched his shoulder gently,  
"Aaron...look if you don't want this, its fine. It's fine."  
Aaron met his eye,  
"I do want it. I want...you."  
Robert dropped his hand,  
"It's not a problem you know...I'm happy to wait. I just want you to be-"  
He was cut off as Aaron closed the gap between them and kissed him,  
"Oh..."  
Aaron ran his hands down Robert's front and gripped his shirt as he tried to bring himself to say the words that were in his mind. Robert watched him for a moment and covered his hands with his own,  
"Aaron? Come on...talk to me."  
Aaron stared at their hands and clenched his jaw before closing his eyes as he spoke,  
"I just...."  
"What?"  
Aaron huffed out a breath,  
"I'm scared. Okay?"  
Robert shifted slightly; unprepared for the answer he gave. Aaron took his hands back and rubbed his face,  
"Scared? Why?"  
Aaron pulled his sleeves down and wrapped his arms around himself as he shrugged,  
"I just..."  
He sighed again and looked away before looking back,  
"I just can't help but think that...things have changed right? And we're okay now but-"  
He huffed out a breath,  
"Aaron? Is....is it the physical thing? Because...because of what happened to you?"  
Aaron winced slightly and shook his head,  
"No. Nothing like that."  
Robert swallowed and touched Aaron's shoulder,  
"Talk to me. Please?"  
Aaron chewed his lip for a moment,  
"What if it changes when you've had me? What if you change your mind? I...I can’t...I can't do this and let myself fall for you again only to...lose you."  
Robert's face softened and he cupped Aaron's face; forcing him to meet his eye,  
"You're not going to lose me. Okay? I'm in this. 100%, it's not like before. It's not going to be like before. I'm yours. Just yours."  
Aaron swallowed and gripped his shirt again,  
"Promise?"  
Robert stroked his cheeks with his thumbs,  
"You saying you'd take me back...was the greatest day of my life. You're it Aaron...my world. I'm not letting anything take that away. Okay? I'm serious about this. About you. I promise."  
Aaron clenched his jaw and met his eye again; his hands travelling up Robert's chest until they met his collar,  
"I just need to know that nothing will change once we've..."  
Robert looked at him,  
"Oh, Aaron."  
He moved his hand to the back of Aaron's neck; pulling him in gently and pressing their heads together. His voice dropped to a whisper,  
"I'm so over my head with you...Nothing's gonna change, you hear me? Nothing."  
Aaron gripped him tightly and smiled gently,  
"Okay."  
Robert smiled and closed his eyes as his fingers played with the fine hairs at the back of Aaron's neck,  
"Lemme show you?"  
Aaron nodded; breaking their contact to tilt his head and close the gap between their lips.

Robert trailed his fingers slowly along Aaron's jaw as he kissed him slowly. Aaron's hands moved from Robert's waist and started pushing up under his shirt; making Robert smile into the kiss before breaking away enough to speak,  
"Hands are cold."  
"Sorry."  
Robert looked down at the man and stroked his cheek gently,  
"God you're beautiful."  
Aaron's face flushed red,  
"Shut up."  
Robert chuckled,  
"You are. You don't see it. You don't see what I see."  
Aaron shifted slightly,  
"And what is that? What you see?"  
Robert smiled and stroked his cheek again,  
"I see strength...and heart...I look in your eyes and I see what I want for the rest of my life. I see...I see happiness."  
Aaron bit his lip,  
"Should work for Hallmark, you."  
Robert grinned again,  
"Don't get used to it."  
He brushed his nose against Aaron's,  
"What do you see when you look at me?"  
Aaron smirked,  
"Just you."  
Robert pulled back slightly,  
"That it?"  
Aaron shrugged,  
"Yeah. I just see you...but I like seeing you. Makes me feel...calm somehow."  
Robert smiled and kissed him gently,  
"How do you feel now?"  
Aaron moved his hands to cup Robert's face,  
"Feel like I want you."  
Robert nodded,  
"Me too. Funny that."  
Aaron smiled and closed the gap to kiss him once more before dropping his hands. Robert kissed him once more and climbed to his knees; reaching over to the nightstand and opening the drawer. He rooted around and picked up the bottle of lube and a condom,  
"Do you wanna...?"  
Aaron shook his head,  
"I want you."  
Robert nodded and put the items down before pulling his shirt up and over his head; dropping it on the floor and pulling Aaron up into a sitting position. He pulled Aaron's shirt up and off and ran his fingers slowly down his chest before pushing him back so he was lying down again. Starting at his jaw he began pressing kisses slowly to his skin, working his way down his neck and across his collar bone,  
"What are you doing?"  
Robert lifted his head and smiled at Aaron before returning to kissing his way down his chest and onto his stomach. He felt Aaron tense beneath him and lifted his head again,  
"Aaron?"  
Aaron swallowed,  
"Sorry..."  
Robert climbed to his knees again,  
"You want me to stop?"  
Aaron shook his head,  
"No...No."  
He swallowed again,  
"Just don't look at them okay?"  
Robert frowned and glanced down at Aaron's stomach where the man instinctively tried to cover his scars with his hand,  
"Aaron you don't need to try and hide them from me."  
Aaron looked at him for a moment,  
"I hate them."  
He took Aaron's hand and kissed his palm before pressing it to his own scarred chest,  
"It's just marks. That's all."  
He cupped Aaron's face and stroked his cheek with his thumb,  
"They're a part of you...like this is a part of me. But they don't make you any different. At all. Okay?"  
Aaron nodded and pulled himself up until he was sitting. He ran his fingers over Robert's scar then leant in to press his lips against the raised skin before looking up at the man; looking into his eyes for a moment and pulling him down to kiss him again.

"You sure about this?"  
Aaron nodded,  
"Yeah...I'm sure."  
Robert nodded and kissed him; pressing his finger slowly against his hole as he did. Aaron hissed as his finger slipped inside,  
"Okay?"  
Aaron nodded and spread his legs wider. Robert began kissing his neck and jaw as he opened him; first one finger then two. By the time he has three inside; Aaron was panting and grinding his hips down,  
"Now...now."  
Robert nodded and kissed him hard before pulling his fingers free gently and positioning himself. He pulled Aaron's legs around himself and pushed in slowly; letting go of his cock when he was half in to put his hands on each side of Aaron's head. A deep groan slipped from the man as Robert pushed in to the hilt. He looked down at Aaron and swallowed,  
"Aaron?"  
Aaron wrapped his legs more tightly around him and nodded. Robert watched his face for a moment and dropped down slowly; attaching his lips to Aaron's throat and hooking his arms under Aaron's own; making him wrap an arm around his neck and tangle his fingers in his hair as they rocked together slowly. Robert took his time; moving at a pace that would normally drive him mad. He lifted his head slowly and dragged his lips over Aaron's jaw and working his way to the man's lips. He brushed their noses together and kissed his lips; kissing him slowly and deeply as his hips rocked, pulling occasionally moans from the man beneath him,  
"You okay?"  
Aaron nodded and swallowed; he ran his fingers down Robert's back and had them land on his hips. He arched his back and pushed his head back as Robert thrust up into him again. Robert moved his arm from under Aaron's shoulder and pressed it to his head; his fingers digging into his hair as he kissed his throat and face.  
Aaron moaned beneath him; his fingers digging into Robert's hips hard,  
"Rob..."  
He screwed his eyes shut and bit down on his bottom lip. Robert lifted his head and cupped Aaron's jaw; his thumb dragging over his lip to free it from his teeth,  
"Hey..."  
Aaron opened his eyes,  
"You okay?"  
Aaron nodded,  
"Kiss me?"  
Robert closed the gap and kissed him; he could feel Aaron's hardness between them and he dropped his hand from Aaron's face; pushing it between them and taking him in hand. They began moving together more quickly as they both came closer to release; their kisses turning more desperate, Aaron wrapped an arm around Robert's neck; his fingers wrapping around the man's hair as he felt the heat pool in his stomach,  
"Rob...I'm gonna..."  
Robert nodded and kissed him again; picking up the pace and rocking into Aaron as he stroked him; pulling whimpers and moans from him until he suddenly gripped Robert's hair tightly and moaned into his mouth as he came over Robert's fist. He lifted his other hand and gripped the man's bicep as he thrust into him three more times and stilled; his eyes rolling back as he came. Aaron tipped his head back into the pillows; a smile appearing when he felt the kiss on his Adam's apple before Robert collapsed against him. They lay entangled for a few minutes; sharing occasional kisses and entwining fingers,  
"Okay?"  
Aaron nodded and smiled into the kiss that Robert gave him. He pulled out gently and climbed from the bed to get rid of the condom; returning a few moments later with a damp cloth, he knelt beside Aaron and cleaned his stomach before dropping the cloth on the floor and climbing under the covers. Aaron moved over and kissed him again; Robert slung his arm across the pillows, with Aaron's head on his bicep and his fingers in the man's hair, they kissed slowly; taking their time to enjoy their post orgasm bliss. Aaron reached over and took Robert's other hand; turning it over and running his fingertips over the man's palm,  
"That was..."  
He looked up at Robert,  
"Amazing."  
Robert smirked,  
"Well..."  
Aaron chuckled and looked down at Robert's hand again,  
"Thanks...for taking it slow."  
Robert dragged his fingers through Aaron's hair,  
"Hey?"  
Aaron tilted his head up to meet his eye,  
"I love you."  
Aaron met his lips with a gentle kiss,  
"I love you too."  
He kissed him again and smiled before returning to running his fingers over Robert's palm as Robert threaded his fingers through his hair slowly.

Aaron shifted and turned his head toward Robert. The room was dark; the only light coming from the clock on the nightstand, but it was enough to allow Robert to watch the man beside him as he slept. Aaron had been asleep for nearly three hours but he didn't feel tired; he just wanted to watch him, wanted to drink in the sight of having him there. He smiled to himself at the sight; Aaron's face was relaxed, peaceful, any sign of stress or anger gone with the freedom of sleep. Robert bit his lip and placed his hand gently against Aaron's cheek, he moved closer until their noses almost touched; he smiled at the sleeping man again and finally closed his own eyes.


End file.
